Secret Sayings - The Acts of John

The Acts of John

"No one is to copy this book...we consider that it deserves to be consigned to the fire," the Nicene Council of 787 proclaimed. Nevertheless, much of this book survives in several languages and is dated by scholars to as early to the fourth century.

One time Jesus took James, Peter, and I (John) to the mountain where he prayed, and we saw him in an indescribable light.

Another time he bid us come up the mountain saying, "Come with me." When we arrived, he went a distance and began to pray.

Since I knew he loved me, I quietly approached him from behind and stood looking at his back. Then I perceived in the spirit that he was not dressed in clothing, but stripped of his usual garments. As such, he did not look at all like a regular man. For his feet were very white, snow white, and the ground was lit up by them. And his head seemed to stretch upward to heaven. It so frightened me that I cried aloud.

As he turned to answer my cry, I saw him once again as a small man. He grabbed my beard and pulled it saying, "John, do not be without your faith, but believe. Do not question the vision that you have seen." I said to him, "Lord, what have I done?" But I'm telling you, friends, that, for a month, I suffered nearly unbearable pain where he pulled at my beard. I even told him, "Lord, if your playful tug has caused me such pain, how much pain would I have had to bear if you had struck me?" He said to me, "Be concerned from now on not to tempt the untemptable one."

One time all the disciples were sleeping in a house in Gennesaret. I unwrapped my covers to see what Jesus was doing. Jesus said to me, "John, go back to sleep." I pretended to sleep, and after a while I saw another man like him descending and I heard him say to the Lord, "Jesus, these men you have chosen still do not believe you." My Lord replied, "You are right; for they are men."

Before Jesus was arrested by the lawless Jews, whose lawgiver is the lawless serpent, he brought us together and said, "Before I am delivered to them, let us sing a hymn to the Father, and then go on to meet our destiny." We held hands at his bidding, and he stood in the middle of our circle. "Answer Amen to me." He sang this hymn.

Glory be to thee, Father.
Glory be to thee, Logos:
Glory be to thee, Grace. --Amen.

Glory be to thee, Spirit:
Glory be to thee, Holy One:
Glory be to thy Glory. --Amen.

We praise thee, Father:
We thank thee, Light:
In whom darkness stays not.
--Amen.

And why we give thanks,
I tell you: I will be saved,
And I will save.
--Amen.

I will be loosed,
And I will loose.
--Amen.

I will be wounded,
And I will wound.
--Amen.

I will be born,
And I will bear.
--Amen.

I will eat,
And I will be eaten.
--Amen.

I will hear,
And I will be heard.
--Amen.

I will be thought,
Being wholly thought.
--Amen.

I will be washed,
And I will wash.
--Amen.

Grace dances.
I will pipe,
Dance, all of you.
--Amen.

I will mourn,
Beat you all your breasts.
--Amen.

The one Ogdoad
sings praises with us.
--Amen.

The twelfth number
dances on high.
--Amen.

To the Universe
belongs the dancer.
--Amen.

He who does not dance
does not know what happens.
--Amen.

I will flee,
and I will be fled.
--Amen.

I will adorn,
and I will be adorned.
--Amen.

I will be united,
and I will unite.
--Amen.

I have no house,
and I have houses.
--Amen.

I have no place,
and I have places.
--Amen.

I have no temple
and I have temples.
--Amen.

I am a lamp to you
who see me.
--Amen.

I am a mirror to you
who know me.
--Amen.

I am a door to you
who knock on me.
--Amen.

I am a way to you
the traveler.
--Amen.

Now if you follow my dance,
see yourself in Me who am speaking, And when you have seen what I do, keep silent about my mysteries. You who dance, consider what I do, for yours is This Passion of Man which I am to suffer. For you could by no means have understood what you suffer unless I was to you as the Logos, sent by the Father.

You who have seen what I suffer saw me as suffering yourself, and seeing it you did not stay, but were wholly moved. Being moved towards wisdom, you have me as a support; rest in me.

Who I am, you shall know when I go forth. What I now am seen to be, that I am not; What I am you shall see when you come yourself.

If you knew how to suffer you would be able not to suffer. Learn how to suffer and you shall be able not to suffer.

What you do not know I myself will teach you.

I am your Deity, not the Deity of the traitor. I will that there be prepared holy souls for me.

Understand the word of wisdom!

As for me,
If you would understand what I am: By the word Word I was mocked at all things and I was not mocked at all. I leaped but do you understand the whole. And when you have understood it, then say, Glory be to thee, Father.

Say again with me,

Glory be to thee, Father,
Glory be to thee, Word.
Glory be to thee, Holy Spirit.
--Amen.

After the Lord had danced with us he left. We were like men amazed or fast asleep, and we ran away to and fro.

Jesus revealed the mystery of the cross. "One ready man must hear what I have to say, John.... For your sakes I sometimes call this mysterious 'cross of light' by various names, among them, the Logos, the Son, the Father, the Spirit, Jesus, the Christ, the Mind, the Door, the Way, the Bread, the Seed, the Resurrection, the Faith, and Grace. All these are part of the mystery, but given names for the sake of mankind.

"But the true identity of the 'cross of light,' as it is known to itself and spoken to us, is the discernment of the nature of all things, the strengthening bulwark of stability from instability, and the harmonious application of wisdom, being wisdom in harmony. For unstable and transient things proceed from other convenient entities, such as principalities, powers, authorities, and demons with the accompanying demonic activities, the like of threats, inflamed passions, and devilish intentions.

All these sprout from the inferior root of Satan and his nature.

"This cross has united all things through the Logos, then dispatched that which is unstable and inferior. But I do not speak of the cross made of wood that you will see when you descend from here; nor am I that man you on the cross, I who you can hear but not see. I was recognized for what I am not. That which I was recognized for was the subject of mean insults, the likes of them I did not deserve. I am the Lord of this place, and as my place of rest is not seen nor rightly spoken of, all the more will I not be seen or rightly spoken of.

"Since the crowd around the cross is not united, then we perceive its inferior nature. Those who you saw on the cross are not united in him, for they had not yet been gathered together.

When human nature is humbled and the masses come to me and obey me, the one who hears me will be united with me. That one will be changed, and become superior to the rest even as I am now superior.

"For as long as you do not say that you belong to me, I am not what I am. If you listen to me, you will be like me, and I will be what I was, and we will be united - from me you become what I am!

So ignore what the rest say, and despise the talk of those outside the mystery. Know only that I am with the Father entirely, and he is with me.

"They will say I have suffered grievously, but I have not suffered at all. What you and the others perceived as suffering is to be called a mystery that has been revealed to you in my dance. For I have shown you that which you are; but what I am is known only to me. Allow me to be what I am and let me have that which is mine. What is yours you must see through me. Now you must see me not as I appear to your natural mind, but rather through your knowledge as my brother.

"You have heard that I did suffer, but I did not. You heard that I did not suffer, yet I did. You have heard that I was pierced, yet I was not wounded; that I was hanged, yet I wasn't; that my blood flowed, yet it didn't. Those things that they say that I endured, I did not. But those things that they did not say I endured. I did!

Now I will show you the mystery of what I really suffered, for I know that you will understand. Know me, then, as the torment of the Logos, the piercing of the Logos, the blood of the Logos, the wounding of the Logos, the nailing of the Logos, and the death of the Logos. I have thus discarded my manhood. In order to fully know the Deity, you must first know the Logos. Finally, know the man, and what he has suffered."